First Reading • Ezekiel 33:7-9
Psalm • Psalm 95:1-2, 6-7, 8-9
Second Reading • Romans 13:8-10
Gospel • Matthew 18:15-20
Just about the best compliment anyone could pay you is to say that you are “nice.”
What do we mean when we call someone nice?
Usually, we mean that they are kind and considerate.
A nice person does not say mean or offensive things. They avoid judging others and usually keep negative opinions to themselves.
So, in a culture that values being nice, Jesus’ words in today’s Gospel can come as a surprise: “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault.”
Most of us would rather avoid confrontation. Even when someone hurts or offends us, we may say nothing to that person.
Instead, we might complain about them to someone else. But Jesus gives us a different approach: go directly to the person.
Why would Jesus ask us to do something so uncomfortable?
Because of the reality of sin and because of the commandment to love our neighbour.
Sin damages our relationship with God, but it also damages our relationships with one another.
It creates divisions in families, friendships, workplaces, parishes, and communities.
No sin is completely private because our choices affect others, sometimes in ways we do not even realize.
This is why the prophet Ezekiel is told in today’s first reading that he is a watchman. He has a responsibility to warn others when they are going in the wrong direction.
Likewise, Saint Paul tells us, “Love your neighbour as yourself.” Love sometimes requires more than being pleasant. Sometimes love requires having a difficult conversation.
If I truly love my brother or sister, I cannot simply be indifferent when I see that person seriously hurting themselves or others.
Otherwise, we repeat the attitude of Cain: “Am I my brother’s keeper?” The Christian answer is: Yes, in a certain sense, I am.
We are responsible for one another.
But how do we put Jesus’ teaching into practice without becoming judgmental?
First, we must be humble. All of us are sinners. Before correcting someone else, we should examine ourselves.
We should also avoid jumping to conclusions.
Did the person really do something wrong, or have I misunderstood the situation?
Is there another explanation?
Giving someone the benefit of the doubt can prevent unnecessary conflict.
Second, keep the focus on the person, not on winning an argument.
The purpose is not to prove that I am right and they are wrong. The goal is understanding, conversion, healing, and reconciliation.
That means we must listen as well as speak. Gentleness can accomplish what anger never will.
Third, relationship matters. Correction is much easier to receive when it comes from someone we know loves us.
If our first meaningful conversation with someone is about everything they are doing wrong, they probably will not listen.
That also means asking, “Am I the right person to speak to them?” Sometimes another person may be better able to reach them.
Parents know this very well. Sometimes children will not listen to Mom or Dad, but the same advice coming from a teacher, coach, grandparent, or trusted friend suddenly makes sense.
Jesus also recognizes that sometimes our first attempt will not work. He tells us that if the person does not listen, take one or two others along.
This is not permission to gang up on someone or embarrass them. It is another attempt to restore the relationship. The message is: We care about you too much simply to give up on you.
Of course, even after our best efforts, some people will refuse to listen. We cannot force anyone to change. We cannot control another person’s response. We can only control how faithfully, humbly, and lovingly we act.
Sometimes love requires difficult things from us. Speaking the truth to someone we care about can be one of them.
They may thank us for having the courage to speak. They may become angry. They may even walk away.
But Jesus reminds us today that Christian love is more than simply being nice. Christian love wants what is truly good for the other person.
And when disagreements, wounds, and conflicts arise in our families and community, Jesus gives us a simple path: do not gossip about one another; speak to one another.
Do not condemn; seek reconciliation. Do not give up on one another; pray for one another.
For where two or three gather in His name, Christ Himself is among them.
With Him among us, even difficult conversations can become opportunities for healing, forgiveness, and deeper love.
